a bad case of reflectionitis.
23 August 2005
  Either Ors and Neither Nors
In my world, there are two kinds of people worth noting:

1. The Either Ors


2. The Neither Nors

Much like Dr. Seuss' story The Sneetches, there seems an apparent difference between kinds of people. Some have stars upon thars and some do not have stars upon thars. There are the haves and the have nots. The right and the wrong. The black and the white. The round and the flats. Whichever way you choose to classify the kinds of people in your world, there is always some method used to determine what you like and what you do not.

Clearly, grey areas are not condoned. That'd be too easy.

So I've observed the kinds of people that associate with me on a regular basis and how I cope/deal/survive/enjoy/treasure their presence. They are as follows:

The Either Ors

Either Ors make life difficult. And easy at the same time. They are the people who want me to make decisions. Yet they are also the people who help me decide with efficiency. They tell me when to put things back on the rack. Either Ors stand for principles and give me faces when I am less than tactful or just blurt out my thoughts in general. Either Ors see the world in a way that challenges me. They do not budge or make compromise. They tell me that this g(G)od guy is pretty cool and that not joining his crusade for the promise land is a mondo mistake. Or they tell me that it is very uncool of me to sit in on a Friday night instead of drinking myself into oblivion as expected of my age bracket. Either Ors are the people who like me as I am but have not given up the possibility of changing me. They either expect too much or are impressed by too little. Either Ors are capable of getting into a fight with me then bouncing back the next day. They are my sensible people. They keep me motivated and remind me that when all else fails, set two alarms. The ones with all the logic and rationality on issues regarding my emotional and mental stability. Instability. Whatever.

The Neither Nors

Neither Nors are rare. They make life so easy it's unreal. They are my "not in a box not with a fox" friends. The ones that are unmistakably weird. The ones with undeclared genius that finds its way into private conversations. They are the people who make my clock tick. They haven't made up their minds about the world yet and don't intend to anytime soon. Their attitudes about life are positive and they believe in human potential. To be anything. They don't judge groups; they judge character. They don't live by a schedule, and sometimes, they throw mine off. Neither Nors don't want me to change or to prove anything. They want me to put down my homework and play. They don't know much about me other than my thoughts. They like topics, not issues. Their concerns are creating ideas, not promoting beliefs. They don't manage me. But they don't need to. Because my Neither Nors are the ones that aren't around much or are so completely involved in their own worlds that they only cross my path every few moons. When they do, though - I get to just feel what it's like to be around another person. Who yes, has thoughts. And of course, has opinions. But is capable of just being present. And making a moment unspoken yet unforgettable. There is an innate peace that comes with the Neither Nor person. I think I can say that I am in love with every Neither Nor in my life.

The Advantages of Polarization

One could argue that my use of two categories is rather odd considering my criticisms of the Either Or segment as I've mentioned. But I would say that I find rhyme in having two different kinds of people to engage with. I need someone to make sure I wake up in the morning sometimes. But then I also need someone to make sure I stay up as late as possible doing no more than laying on my futon having a chat. I love the structure of Either Or lifestyle and generally dislike the inconsistencies of the Neither Nors who come and go as they please. On one side, I have people who challenge me to have goals, and on the other - I have people who encourage me to follow any path that looks half fun. Some of my folks want me to follow a code of living, and some of my other folks want me to throw out the books. Those who give me a reason to believe that I need them and those who assure me that I never will. Both of these kinds of people are necessary. They kind of complete my world because when I need someone, there is always someone. Either a friend or a parent. Neither a judge nor a fraud.
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